Friday, February 25, 2011
Vinyl of the Dead: Get Your Ashes Pressed into an LP
Why be buried, entombed or donated to science when you can be pressed into a vinyl record and played by all your friends on their turntable for eternity?
Boy, there's a niche market for everything, huh?
The website AndVinyly.com boasts "Living from beyond the groove!"
Ha! Pun of the dead!
That's right: when you finally head to that big radio station in the sky, you can have your cremated ashes pressed into a vinyl recording.
Record a personal message, your last will and testament, your own soundtrack or just let your ashes speak for themselves with pops and hisses that only stereophonic sound can bring to, er, "life."
Ha! Pun of the dead again!
Now why, you may ask, would a website called HalloweenAddict.com be posting on such a morbid topic?
Well... here's how it relates to Halloween: in 1986 there was a film called Trick or Treat (not to be confused with Mike Dougherty's 2009 anthology film Trick 'r Treat). The story revolved around a rock star named Sammi Curr who came back from the dead when Marc Price (the actor who played "Skippy" on Family Ties) played his last recorded album --ahem-- "Songs in the Key of Death" on Halloween at midnight... bringing Sammi back to life and sending him on a murderous rampage killing everyone in his way.
I can't make this stuff up if I tried.
The film capitalized on '80s teens infatuation with slasher films, heavy metal music and the myth of messages hidden in backwards lyrics on LPs.
(Side note: if he played the album at midnight on Halloween wouldn't that be November 1st? Or do you have to play it at midnight on the 30th? Boy that's a loophole the psychotic might want to be more clear about...)
The magazine ads for the film (published in extinct fan mags like Circus and Hit Parader) had a better tag line than the movie poster. I should know. It's burned into my mind for the coolness and cheese factor: "Sammi Curr is a rock and roll nightmare... His friends won't let him die... he won't let them live!"
The poster (seen here) was AWESOME.
The "film" (and I use the term loosely) was NOT.
Even as a teen who was into all that this movie had to offer: a new horror icon, a Family Ties tie-in (zing!), heavy metal music, cameos by real-life rockers Ozzy Osbourne and Gene Simmons (KISS), taking place on Halloween----- I still wasn't buying it.
Just because you have the ingredients for cookies, doesn't mean you can bake a great batch.
I think Dio said that.
So, see? That's how I'm tying into Halloween. A crappy Halloween-themed horror movie about a dead rocker, brought to life by playing his album... annnnd a service that turns you into an album.
Ok, yes, I'm reaching.
It's a little steep, but hey you won't have to buy a plot of land or pick out a coffin. You just need to leave your album to someone... annnnd make sure they still have a turntable.
Make your hereafter plans ahead of time through AndVinyly.com HERE.
Question for the masses:
If you took advantage of this service, what song would you want burned into the vinyl?
Another One Bites the Dust by Queen.